Legitimate Self Destruction – #10 Time Jump

And this is what Green Day wore. They always keep it classy and simple though.

Welcome to the chapter with, probably, the most unrealistic depiction of sibling behavior in this entire story. As an only child, I have very little experience with siblings and the sibling relationship, and thus it’s not terribly realistic. At 12 if you’re writing about something that isn’t awkward middle school dances and late night TV binges, it’s probably not going to turn out too well.

But, this chapter isn’t just about sibling relationships. It also includes a time jump, used for both plot propulsion and the purpose of breaking out of writer’s block.

“Did Billie Joe let you come?” He asked looking at me caringly.

Well that’s a loaded question, and definitely not something a brother should be involved in.

I shook my head in a no motion.

“Maria, you know what he’s going to do,” Gerard said concern quickly becoming more forthright and present in his voice.

“I…I know,” I said thinking of what he could do to me. “back to Oakland for me, once the bus stops in Rhode island in a few hours.”

At least I got the tour locations in a logical order, if nothing else about this story is at all believable.

“I don’t want you to leave.” He said pulling me tighter into him.

“I don’t want to leave you either.” I said hugging him back the same.

“Then you should go back-” Gee started to say but I slapped my hand over his mouth. I listened intently and heard stomping feet outside. I quickly ran to the bunks and hid in Gerard’s.

I heard a knock on the door. OK well not a knock, more of a pounding.

“Where’s Maria!?” I heard BJ yell as Gerard timidly opened the door.

“She’s not here. Maybe you should go ask Tre.” Gerard said his voice sounding small and mouse like.

Gratuitous verbs everywhere.

“Oh right…” He said obviously not thinking of asking him. When he first met Tre and Mike I was almost always hanging with one of them. Billie Joe left slamming the door behind him.

Rhode Island. It’s a great place, when you’re not scared of being sent back to Oakland to spend time with Addy.

Is it though? It’s not the worst place ever, but great might be going a bit far.

This reminds me of that scene in Wayne’s World where they use the green screen to go to Delaware and have no idea what to “do” in Delaware. That’s what Rhode Island is like once you finish seeing The Breakers (fancy mansions built in the Gilded Age) and eating seafood.

The other reason I don’t want to be here is because Quinn keeps texting me. Not so much texting as, stalking me. 

Those are two completely different things, one involves only virtual communication. The other is very much in person and creepier.

So I started to get a bit worried. I mean wouldn’t you be worried if one of your best friends is suddenly confessing his undying love to you through text messaging? Well I was worried as fuck!

“Maria,” Billie Joe said poking his head into my bunk. I hastily covered my wrist which had been cut a few more times since our last encounter. Hey I totally respect Gerard for going cold turkey and all but I just can’t do that. “time to get you to the airport.”

“Do I have to go?” I asked like a 12 year old being forced into some dorky school play.

Not the correct emotion for this situation, but does give me a distinct idea of what she sounded like.

“HELL YES! After you sneaking off and seeing Gerard like that; then having everyone lie to me about it!!” He looked at me with fiery hate in his eyes. I knew that after this he would never let me within 10 feet of Gerard. I kind of liked the overprotective mode that he got into sometimes though. It was nice to know that he really truly cared about me. I mean since my dad died and my mom has to put up with a bunch of grandkids it’s really nice to know that someone cares about me. But not letting me see my boyfriend is just cruel and unusual. Just because he’s a rock star doesn’t mean that he’s not a human being. Billie Joe of all people should know that.

I arrived at the airport and went through all of the crappy security checks then got to my gate.

“Well I’ll see you in a few months.” Billie Joe said hugging me tightly.

Okay, I grew up in a post 9/11 world where you definitely could not walk someone all the way to their gate. This is just blatant lies.

I hugged back weakly.

So now I’m at home. And I’m apparently going to stay here for the rest of my life until BJ finds someone to marry me; which means I’m going to be here for a long time. Addy is pretty cool actually, I mean I never spent much time with her, I just always thought of her as the girl who took away my brother. But now that I talk to her I’ve found that we have a lot of things in common. Well for one we’re both in love with punk rock kings. . .

This is when I took a LONG hiatus from writing the story (at least a year) and didn’t know what to do with it. So after seeing My Chem perform at the VMA’s that year I was inspired. Apparently.

Date: August 28, 2005.

Gerard and I have been keeping in contact. We call, e-mail, IM, and write letters to each other every day. He sent me pictures of his new looks and I’ve sent him pictures of mine. Ya I’ve changed, my hair’s not to my shoulders and its navy blue. But I think that Gerard’s so much hotter then I am with his new look.

He’s a bit paler from being inside so much, and he’s more muscular, and his hair is short and choppy but still it’s perfect raveny black.

This is all information people reading this would know, also google existed then so… Also, raveny isn’t a word, nor should it be.

I keep telling Gee, that if we could see each other the first thing that I would do is stroke his gorgeous black hair.

This comes off as inherently really creepy, but it’s definitely not meant to.

He just laughs, and I can tell that he’s smiling, and then says that he wouldn’t have it any other way. So I’ve watched a lot of TV over the past 5 months and I’ve seen a lot of the MTV things you know with like the VMAs.

A lot of MTV things? Like the things they showed on MTV? Like not music videos?

Oh yeah, you know, those MTV things. With the stuff. And the people. And the music. And the things.

Green Day’s up for 8 awards, if you can believe it.  So for my first outing after 5 months of isolation Billie Joe is taking me to the VMAs with Addy! Here is how I reacted when it happened.

The epitome of telling instead of showing. I also don’t immediately write her screaming, I write the entire conversation where Billie Joe tells her she’s going to the VMAs. This is not only bad writing, it’s also full of lies.

“MARIA!” He had to yell I was listening to my music too loud to hear. So I trudged downstairs my combat boots making me sound like an elephant in a cemetery.

I didn’t own combat boots until college, and thus definitely didn’t know how much you don’t want to wear them inside. The minute I get home I take them off now. Plus, one of my friends has hard word floors so when I wear them inside it sounds like I’m clog dancing when all I want is to get some water.

“What?” I asked rather pissed. After he sent me back the only people that I would talk to were my friends, Gee, and Addy. “Are you here to ruin my life some more?”


“No,” He said calmly looking me straight in the eyes. “I’m here to ask if you’d like to Join Addy and I at the VMAs tonight. We have to fly out to Miami in 2 hours and we come back tomorrow.”

Honestly, I knew how time worked at age 12. You have to believe me, despite everything this fanfic makes you think. I really do understand how time works. Because I know you wouldn’t be able to fly to Miami from Oakland at 3pm and make it in time for the start of the VMAs.

I swear to god my eyes were as big as frying pans, I was so ecstatic. This was the biggest thing to happen to me since BJ took me to the Grammies a couple of years ago.

Oooh, awkward, not how that’s spelled.

A smile spread across my face like wild fire; I ran up and hugged Billie Joe so hard that he fell over. “So I take that you want to come?” He asked chuckling to himself.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you,” I said running up to my room and packing the few things that I needed. I grabbed the dress that I had been designing for the past month and carefully folded it into my bag. I had, cell phone, ipod, laptop, condoms, (you never know!) and finally my notebook.

The cutest little unaware 13 year old Maria, just trying to seem cool.

I was officially ready to go. Well the plane ride was dull, I read a bit, listened to music, and you know, basic stuff. We arrived at the hotel earlier then expected. I got my room key and went on up to me room.

Every so often you just need to be a pirate, apparently.

“Oh and Maria, we need you to meet us in the lobby in 30 minutes.” Addy said as she unlocked her room across the hall from mine. I hurried into my room and washed my hair, quickly conditioning it. I hurried into my dress.

This dress I had been working on for the past few months. It was –in my eyes– the perfect dress. The dress ended at about my knees the material was soft and flowing, hugging my every curve perfectly, yet from the waist down it was flowing and twirling. It was black, with the slightest tinge of purple and was a halter top. I pulled on some fishnets and a pair of black high tops. I can look good and still not have my feet hurt.

The justification from a 13 year hold on why it’s okay to wear high tops to the VMAs. Actually, here’s what some celebrities wore to the VMAs that year, and it’s not much better than what “Maria” wore.

Shakira VMA 2005

Shakira rocking that trend of wearing dresses over pants. Which I definitely did. With limited to 0 success.

Kanye VMA 2005

Kanye thought just because it’s in Miami it’s Vice themed.

Joel Hilary Benji VMA 2005

Remember when this happened? (Yes that is Hilary Duff and her date Joel Madden and his photobombing brother Benji) They’re all looking at different cameras.

Green Day VMA 2005

And this is what Green Day wore. They always keep it classy and simple though.

I combed my hair, took some chopsticks, and twirled my hair into a rather tussled bun. I applied some light purple eye shadow, and some black eyeliner on the top and bottom lids. I stood back and admired my job well done. I quickly grabbed my purse, containing cell, pen, eye make-up, and a condom.

This was so important I mentioned it twice within 3 paragraphs. Yet, I’m fairly sure it’s never actually used. So maybe I just wanted everything to think I knew all about sex. Cause, y’know, you don’t carry around condoms if you’re a virgin. *sweats nervously*

I rushed out the door and down to the lobby. Tre, Mike, Billie and Addy were all there waiting for me.

“Wow, Maria you look stunning,” Billie Joe, mused as I stepped off of the elevator.

“Where’d you find that fucking awesome dress?” Tre asked scoping the dress a few times.

“I made it,” I said timidly, accepting the arm that Billie Joe was offering me. We all made our way out to the cars, and finally to the awards. I walked the red carpet gracefully, and carefully, careful not to trip.  Addy and I found our seats and we sat down chatting away about how great this was going to be. Well as you, all know Green Day performed, won seven out of eight of the awards that they were up for and Addy and I were thanked by Billie Joe! *does happy dance* my favorite part of the evening was when My Chemical Romance performed. Gerard looked so much hotter then he had told me with his new hair.

Honestly crying right now because I am just imagining a fake Gerard Way going “Yeah man, you don’t even KNOW how hot I am. You could melt butter on my face, bro!”

We all left to go to the after party with smiles on our faces.

Coming up next week, Maria reunites with her tortured love, Gerard. Things definitely don’t go according to plan because of several plot twists that don’t (contextually or logically) make sense.


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