2016: My Year Without Pants – Over Half A Year

Someone send me a cake, bring the balloons, and hire a DJ because I’m throwing myself a no pants party. Not a party in my pants, because there are no pants to party in, but a party with no pants.

Not like that time in college that some of my friends held a “Pants Off Dance Off” party for their joint birthday’s. Not like those awkward pick up lines designed to get drinks thrown in your face if you dare to use them on someone.

I’m talking about a celebration of the fact that I haven’t worn real pants in over 6 months.

The road is long and twisting, and comes with its own challenges. Like: how do I find cute leggings that are also not see-thru? What do I do with my see-thru leggings?

Fuck it, who cares, I’m going out in public with these see-thru leggings!

Oh what’s that mom? You already mailed me 3 new pairs of leggings so that I don’t walk around showing the world my ass? Thanks.

That’s about how this year has gone as far as not wearing pants is concerned. I went through a phase of skirts, I still wear skirts. But now it’s all about the capri length leggings, and the shorts my mom sent me in the mail after my post questioning the validity of shorts that involve zippers and buttons.

It’s a silly exercise in self control. I need a few silly exercises in self control to prove that I do in fact have self control and can exercise it when I need to. I think this self challenge gave me an easy segue into keeping a “more active life style”*. I’ve lost 10 pounds, put on some muscle, and can run for 2 miles without wanting to vomit.

Not wearing pants somehow makes it all easier. Probably because when you wear skin tight clothing you really do want to look and feel your best. I don’t feel my best, but I’m certainly getting there. Not gonna lie, this is the best I’ve looked in almost 4 years.

*Everything about this phrase reminds me of middle of the day television where women drinking wine attempt to give me life advice.


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