If you recall, or if you click here, you’ll remember that I missed pants many months ago. Well as the weather (in theory) gets cooler, I’m starting to miss my jeans again.
Someone send me a cake, bring the balloons, and hire a DJ because I’m throwing myself a no pants party. Not a party in my pants, because there are no pants to party in, but a party with no pants.
Not like that time in college that some of my friends held a “Pants Off Dance Off” party for their joint birthday’s. Not like those awkward pick up lines designed to get drinks thrown in your face if you dare to use them on someone.
I’m talking about a celebration of the fact that I haven’t worn real pants in over 6 months.
I continue adventuring around the world without real pants. Days pass, time keeps moving, like sands through the hour glass. So are the days of my life.
Most recently I went to Portland without pants. Let me say a few things about Portland.
- It is a very picturesque city and I’m really upset that I didn’t fix my camera focus while I was there (sometimes I am just too lazy to be bothered and that’s something I’m working on)
- The food! Every single thing I ate was absolutely delicious. Every single thing I drank was equally as delicious. Including the bourbon barrel aged Saison that tasted like coffee maple syrup.
- It is one of the best places to go without pants.
Welcome back to my year without pants. It’s been 43 days and still no real pants. Draw string linen pants, yes. Jeans, no.
Recently I woke up unsettled because I had a weird stress dream about pants. Yup, this thing that started as a joke is now surprisingly real and very serious. So serious that I am stressing out about accidentally putting on my jeans when I’m getting dressed in my dark closet every morning.
The dream was short, and as with most dreams I only remember snippets of it.* But in it I realized I had put on a pair of jeans and went through an entire afternoon wearing them. Once I realized they were jeans (REAL PANTS!) I kicked them off and rolled on the floor crying in shame.
Hopefully my mental health will rebound from this strange, stressful dream. So far I’ve really enjoyed finding creative ways to wear leggings, and skirts with my regular t-shirts and crop tops. I like the way I look in a lot of these clothes more, and I’m interested to see how I feel when, on the first day of 2017 I put on a pair of jeans again.
*except for this one dream I had in 8th grade where I had a dream all my friends and I went to a cabin in the White Mountains of New Hampshire and when we entered they all splintered off into complete movie style, birthday party, chaos and I wandered the house. Eventually I ran into John Cusack and Matthew McConaughey who were rifling through a closet full of only red baseball caps. I once looked up what that might mean and apparently red hats mean danger or a difficult period is happening/coming up. But, that pretty much describes all of middle school so…