Well, it’s been almost completely 366 days since I last wore real pants. In just one week and a few days I’ll be able to wear jeans again. Just in time for Los Angeles to embrace winter!
So it’s been a hot second since I updated the world on my journey without real pants. Last time I checked in it was because of my longing and desire to once again put on a pair of jeans and have pockets. This time I’m giving you a definition that was briefly touched on in one of my earlier posts.
The definition of Not Real Pants.
Someone send me a cake, bring the balloons, and hire a DJ because I’m throwing myself a no pants party. Not a party in my pants, because there are no pants to party in, but a party with no pants.
Not like that time in college that some of my friends held a “Pants Off Dance Off” party for their joint birthday’s. Not like those awkward pick up lines designed to get drinks thrown in your face if you dare to use them on someone.
I’m talking about a celebration of the fact that I haven’t worn real pants in over 6 months.
Well a whole hell of a lot has happened in the last month. Adina (my new roommate) and I started the epic search for an apartment in Los Angeles. We then (within 2 weeks) found an apartment. Put down the deposit. Signed the lease. Got the keys. Then started moving our lives in.
We have lived there just over a week, and are still cobbling together the place. We need some tables and another lamp. But, the main point of this post is to discuss how I’ve now gone almost half a year without wearing real pants.
This post combines two weird challenges I set for myself this year.
- Not wearing (real) pants for 366 days straight.
- Drinking a gallon of water a day.
The gallon challenge is very new. Two weeks old, in fact. I set it when I bought my giant Nalgene in Portland. It holds 32oz, which means to drink a gallon I have to drink 4 a day.
Now, under normal circumstances (read: every day of my life) my self control, and self discipline rank pretty low. I’m talking, go to the grocery store for clementines and return with clementines plus a frozen pizza, plus a family sized back of SmartFood Popcorn.* Then sitting on my couch and shamelessly eating all of the food.
But I think I’ve found a loophole for my own lack of self discipline. Initially propose the idea as a joke, laugh about it with friends, then start to actually attempt said thing. Once I prove this is easier than originally thought, it just becomes part of my life.
You all watched me go through waves of stress with not wearing pants.** But now I’m over the hill, on the other side, singing the praises of saying “Fuck you!” to jeans. I don’t even think about wearing them anymore, and I don’t miss them.
The gallon challenge is still new, and (so far) proves a much easier task than avoiding zippers. I already drank a lot of water, it’s the only thing I drink aside from alcohol and the occasional ginger ale.
So far my skin looks a lot better, but otherwise I feel basically the same. Next week I’ll start adding fruit to my water every day and see where that road leads. Hopefully to more energy and slight weight loss.
*these two foods are my ultimate weaknesses. Plus wine.
** Those dreams were really awful, guys!
I continue adventuring around the world without real pants. Days pass, time keeps moving, like sands through the hour glass. So are the days of my life.
Most recently I went to Portland without pants. Let me say a few things about Portland.
- It is a very picturesque city and I’m really upset that I didn’t fix my camera focus while I was there (sometimes I am just too lazy to be bothered and that’s something I’m working on)
- The food! Every single thing I ate was absolutely delicious. Every single thing I drank was equally as delicious. Including the bourbon barrel aged Saison that tasted like coffee maple syrup.
- It is one of the best places to go without pants.